Bridging troubled waters, from a distance, and I like you as you are

More getting literal with song lyrics.

Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon and Garfunkel

When you're weary

Feeling small

When tears are in your eyes

I'll dry them all

I'm on your side

Oh, when times get rough

And friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down...

When you're down and out

When you're on the street

When evening falls so hard

I will comfort you

I'll take your part

Oh, when darkness comes

And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down...

Sail on silver girl

Sail on by

Your time has come to shine

All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine

Oh, if you need a friend

I'm sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind...

Surely this is about a lover or prospective lover, not just an aspiring friend? The first thing that strikes me in 2021 is that he is not expecting this to be a low-maintenance relationship. He's expecting that she will find times when friends just can't be found, she will end up on the street (homeless? prostitute?), and it is expected that a time will come when pain is all around. In fact, there is a tone here of, "You're going to suffer, but look at how wonderful I am! I will not just try but surely succeed at making you feel better when you're feeling bad! You're lucky to have me!" This is also the sort of support you might expect a really good friend to offer -- it doesn't have to be your lover, and it might actually be better not to be your lover. If you were aiming for a healthier relationship, you would realize that it's each person's job to make themselves happy or not. Others can help, but this total "I can save you!" thing is a recipe for trouble. Maybe that is an insight that has come to popular acceptance (to the degree it has) since the early 1970s when this song was written?

I was fascinated to find out recently that the song was originally just the first two verses. The third was added as an afterthought, or perhaps better put, a deliberate extension of the song. And here the tone changes. "Sail on silver girl, Sail on by, Your time has come to shine, All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine," Well, that's positively empowering and healthy -- I'm glad you have your goals and I'm confident you will achieve them. "Oh, if you need a friend I'm sailing right behind" is OK, still an offer of help but conditional on their asking for help. With the chorus they are back to the same basic idea as for the first two verses (that's kinda what defines a chorus), but I guess "ease your mind" is less of a sacrifice than "lay me down". 

----------------------------------

"From a Distance" by Julie Gold

I do find this song moves me. At this remove, though, I thought it was very interesting to find that it was written in 1985, and not (say) 1995. In 1985 the Cold War was on, no one had any idea that the Soviet Union was about to collapse, and when people thought about change to the world order, there was this great anxiety that lots of nuclear bombs might go off in the process. The world was a scarier place. True, we have things to be scared of today, but nuclear war does present a horror more immediate than climate change. So the pleading tone of the song is more suitable to the more uncertain world we lived in then. I like the song better when I think of it in that context.

The verse "God is watching us from a distance" is not my favorite, being an atheist. I speculate that on the other hand some serious Christians don't like it because they feel God is personal and with believers at all times, and not at a distance. Also, in Gold's original version and Nanci Griffith's version that first brought the song exposure, that verse only appears once, in the middle. It is the famous Bette Midler version where she repeated that verse at the end of the song, which I naturally think makes it worse, making religion more central than Gold intended.

---------------------------------------

"I like you just the way you are" by Billy Joel

Who changes to try to please someone else? Someone who does not have a close relationship with them but would like it to be closer. An aspiring lover, we would expect.

But when I read "You always have my unspoken passion, although I might not seem to care", I wondered what kind of mixed message that was. Who would expression that strange mix of emotions and behaviors? My best guess was that he was addressing some woman who was his friend but hoped to be more than his friend, but he was going to string her along but always keep her in the friend zone.

But that was before knowing anything of its context. It turns out Billy Joel wrote this for his ex-wife. So if complicated messages and emotions are appropriate and understandable anywhere, it is with an ex-spouse. So my unease largely dissipated.