The other Bart is selfish and lazy

The closest I came to answering the Big Questions was in <this post>:

'The best answer to, "What should I do with my life?" is to pick something, decide that it's what's important, make it your own, and work for it. In the absence of objective morality, there is no argument to be made as to why any choice you make would be fundamentally, profoundly right or wrong.'

In line with that approach, I seek to do good in the world, mostly online, and in this blog tell the truth as I see it, hoping it might influence some people positively.

There is another side to me, however, that sees things differently. It is aware that I am only on this earth a brief while, and the fact I am conscious at any given moment is a sort of miracle. In the absence of any meaning or compelling goals, I seek to avoid pain, try to be comfortable, and seek pleasure. I feel no very close connection to any other individual people. Puzzles and solitaire computer games are frequent diversions, as are YouTube videos of things I find interesting, not all of them G rated. I don't lie, cheat, or steal, though I don't have any profound justification for those choices -- it's just that those things would make me feel bad.

I sometimes muse about the possibility of an evangelical organization of nihilists, enduring any hardship to convince others that life has no meaning. It makes me smile because, well, why would you endure hardship for something with no value? Or, to quote the immortal Tom Lehrer approximately (you think I'm going to look it up, in this frame of mind?) "Like so many modern philosophers, he was intent on giving advice to people who were happier than he was." Perhaps it preceded, "Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."

This perspective oscillates with the more noble one that is the source of all these blog posts, much as <some optical illusions> leave our visual system switching back and forth between two interpretations of an ambiguous figure.

I mention this for the sake of honesty, and perhaps for the benefit of others who are in this state sometimes, so they might feel less alone.

I have at times suffered from deep depression, but I consider that sort of negative experience of life to be quite different. Part of it was probably just plain old neurochemistry. The other, cognitive part was distress experienced within a clear set of goals and values -- things I held to be important, and the depression was largely based on how my life was not in line with those goals and values.

Perhaps the good life is picking some one thing that is important and devoting oneself to it completely. But for some of us there are doubts and competing perspectives about what is good and what is worth effort.