Cousin nomenclature, explained and expanded

Some people find the concept of "second cousin once removed" to be confusing. I did once. Here's how it works. You first figure out how many generations you have to go back from each of the people to find a common ancestor. If it's the same for the two people, then they are just cousins, without any of this removal stuff. If you have to go back just two generations on either side, then the people are first cousins. If you have to go back three generations, then they are second cousins, and so forth. The removal part comes in when the number of generations you go back for the two people is different. In that case, the cousin number is determined by the person who has fewer generations to go back. The removal number is then the number of additional generations the other person has to go back. Probably some of you knew all that, and some didn't. (For those who score high on the nerd test, "CousinNumber = min(G1, G2) and RemovalNumber = abs(G1-G2). Removal number of zero must mandatorily be omitted.")

Another thing about cousin relationships is that they are always symmetrical. If I am your first cousin twice removed, you are my first cousin twice removed. But this leaves a lot to be desired. This first cousin twice removed is either two generations older than you or else two generations younger. That makes a big difference in how you think about this other person, I dare say! So I suggest we could modify that a bit to convey more information, so "first cousin twice removed" is someone younger than you, but "twice removed first cousin" is someone older.

The fact that you have to go back two generations to be first cousins is a little odd. Why not go back two generations to be second cousins? Those who specified the cousin nomenclature maybe didn't do the best job. But if we are stuck with how they started out, there is an obvious extension, see. If going back two generations finds your first cousins, then going back one generation finds your zeroth cousins. Who are they? Your brothers and sisters! Here's why: go back one generation to find your common ancestor -- your parent. But extending the idea doesn't have to stop there. If you go back no generations at all, you can find your minus first cousin, or -1th cousins (say it "minus oneth cousin"). And who is that? You yourself!

The classical cousin nomenclature doesn't convey anything about genders, so it is preferable in that regard in today's society where we have struggled without success for decades to solve the "she/he" problem. So with all this in mind, we can gain a fuller and deeper understanding of some of those relationships terms we just take for granted:

0th cousin = sibling, brother, sister
0th cousin once removed = niece, nephew
Once removed 0th cousin = aunt, uncle
0th cousin twice removed = grandniece, grandnephew
Twice removed 0th cousin = great aunt, great uncle
-1th cousin = you, a man, woman, girl, or boy
-1th cousin once removed = child, son, daughter
Once removed -1th cousin = parent, mother, father
-1th cousin twice removed = grandchild, grandson, granddaughter
Twice removed -1th cousin = grandparent, grandmother, grandfather

We can also reconsider an old expression. "Looking out for number one" might be better thought of as "looking out for minus one"